The Magic Word

The word ‘Please’ in our house is just another one of those make-believe polite words that we only use when company is over.  Saying “Please” ranks right up there with “Thank you”, “Excuse Me”, and “Sorry I spilled hot soup on your lap Dad.”

In our house we have the magic word that puts please to shame.  This magic word is not so much a word as a phrase. Not so much a phrase as a concept. Here is a scenario when the magic word might be applied in our house:

Any one of my five children, lets say one of the twins, walks through a room being a perfect little angel and minding her own business.  The sweet and unsuspecting child’s only mistake is entering a room where I, her loving and devious father, am sitting.

Her next moment of awareness is a tight grip on her ankle as I drag her toward me while my other hand is tickling her with no mercy.  Her eyes widen in surprise and her hands fan the air in attempts to fend off my darting fingers, as an excited scream leaps out of her smile and melts into the tumbling laughter of an extreme tickle attack.

At the first chance she has to catch a quick breath she yells the Magic Word: “Daddy’s the best!”  Then she is free to go on about her business or launch a return attack of tickling fingers on her poor defenseless Dad.

I am proud to say that I am the inventor of this magic word.  I cannot claim that it struck me like a bolt of lightning, that one day I just came up with the concept of Daddy’s the best.  No, this indeed has been a labor of love that has taken over 20 years to develop.

My research began in the early days of life with my parents where I had the foresight of being born first.  My youngest brother was ten years lower on the food chain and was a key component to the development of the magic word concept.  My little brother would often ‘volunteer’ for the important tests we undertook.

We began with the obvious word ‘Uncle’ that would free him from what he now affectionately calls living death.  As this word is blatantly too short and quick conclusion offers no satisfaction to the tickler, the new magic word to be spoken by the victim (I mean subject) quickly became “Ben is the best!” Me being the Ben in question.

While this is the original idea behind the current magic word employed by my children, (and on certain special occasions, my wife, wink wink) my brother and I did experiment with alternate magic words such as “Ben is the best, I will name my first born child after you.”

That last one became the standard for years until my brother’s age and level of intelligence allowed for use of more sophisticated and poetic magic words, or phrases if you will.  There is nothing like tickling someone while they are trying to recite the Pledge of Allegiance, in Spanish  “Yo prometo (pause for laughter) fidelidad (pause for breath) de la bandera,(more laughter) delosEstadosUnidosdeAmerica (so fast its all one word).”  That’s just good clean fun.  And with research like that, how can you go wrong.  Hey, that’s how my brother learned the Gettysburg Address.

So as my children developed from babies to little people I began to implement my years of magic word research in our home.  Of course it just starts out as a garbled “Daddy Best!” but you know how it goes, one step at a time.

Now our family enjoys the magic word on a nearly daily basis.  As I mentioned earlier, it is a concept that can be applied to any family member, not just Daddy.  If my oldest is exercising her first born right to tease her younger siblings then they can escape her by yelling out the magic word; “Maddy is the Best!”

On occasion, or more like every single day, my loving little ones gang up for an attack on their Dad.  This is my opportunity to use the magic word and tell them they are the best.  Of course with five kids trying to tickle you with fingers that dig into your ribs like little railroad spikes, it takes awhile to get through all the names.

Someday I know they will start to grow out of the use of the magic word and we’ll have to start behaving like adults.  How will I know when that time is near?  Will it be when they mutter the Magic Word every time they enter a room I’m in?  When I drop them off at college or attend their wedding?  Or when they hit the teens and refuse to laugh, stare into space, and coldly say “Daddy’s the best” through gritted teeth?

I’m sure I’ll recognize that time when it comes.  For now I’ll just enjoy the magic word and the fun we have with it.  Besides, I think its time to start working on that Gettysburg thingy.